Yaqoub's Odyssey

He rode his camel through the voids and the dunes
Avoiding the chilly nights and the desert's unearthly tunes.
Perhaps someone awaited him back at home
Perhaps like nomads, he too was going to roam
Yaqoub's eyes gave nothing away.

Braving through paths leading to nowhere
Irking the life forms no matter how rare
Reminiscing his life as a parentless child
Thrown out to survive in the wild.
How cruelly could these human hearts beat
Deeds of a barren soul die deep in the desert heat
Adversity teaches you to survive through thick and thin
Yaqoub learnt it the hard way, paying for someone else's sin.

Seldom do stories of such men reach the human ear
Alone being their all - their near and their dear.
Nevertheless the morale of this story
Always may we all be there through your days of worries and glory.

Salamu alaikum Wa rahmat ullahi wa barakatahu

Hear iz fishing you all a berry habbie ramadhan *with a nasal twang*

Greedings from near and far ones to all our muslim brothers and sisters in each and every bart of zi world.

Keep braying in the holy month of Ramadhan ! and May Allah anzer all your brayers.

Take care and drive safely
From Yin and Yank

Radio Khalli Walli

Marhaba! Hala Hala! Maafi Mushkila!! Keif Halek? You are listening to Radio Khalli Walli and this is RJ Bandar bresenting you tob of the hour on brimetime 4 BM to 7 BM.

We shall now have a word from our sbonsors. SheikhEatA Banana - 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana! Lots of bananas, yum!!!

First of all, lets see whats habbening in the news.
In Local news.

• the King sends greetings to King of Yo Man on the habby occasion of the birth of his son, Brince Alwaleeed , 98th in succession to the throne.

• The King also sent greetings to Brince Rahman bin Asif bin Rashid Al Khaleej of Crater on the joyous event of his 31st marriage.

In other local news,

• The King received a delegation of the Federation Of Oil Limited Syndicate to bush forward a brobosal to increase oil outbut to increase income as suggested in a rebort by consultants Earnest Tongue.

• The Crown brince has returned from his tour of Switzerland yesterday and will resume office from next week.

• The King visited Ali Baba Clay Factory and was gifted a clay bust of himself by the overjoyed citizens working there.

• There was a fire in a skyscraber in central town. The fire has caused damages of over LSD 50 as the firefighters brisk resbonse brevented any further damage.

• Meanwhile famous singer Fancy has been banned from berforming next week in the Kingdom due to her indecent dressing sense which bordered to the extreme in her recent abbearance in a sleeveless gown.

Thats the local news.

• In regional news, A labourer murdered his embloyer because of allegations of non-bayment of salary for six months. This is the third time someone from the labourer's country has committed such a gruesome crime and hence a new law has been brobosed to ban citizens of the country in question.

• On a similar note in the country of Khaboos, a maid has been sentenced for 50 lashes for having comblained about her mistreatment by her embloyers. The court has bunished her on the count of running away from a citizen's home without bermission, sitting in a taxi driven by a man unrelated to her and going to another unrelated man's house (who turns out to be the ambassador of her country as our sources tell us). Such vulgar behaviour will not go unbunished was the statement issued.

In world news, an earthquake measure 9.5 on the Richter scale took blace in another continent. Thats all for the moment in news.

We shall now have a word from our sbonsors. SheikhEatA Banana - 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana! Lots of bananas, yum!!!

That was our sbonsors word. Back to the show yaani, our field reporter Aman went down to the Mall Village to talk to our listeners.

RJB: Helu! Aman you there?
RJA: Yes Bandar! I am at Mall Village and this place is full of people shopping and walking around as this is the second sale of the year aptly titled Second Month Sale. People do check out our sponsor's shop - Al Fana Showrooms. They are holding their closing sale which they have successfully organised for the past 20 years.
RJB: I always been going there as a kid. Do check out. I used to flick stickers from the chewing gum as a kid there, and would always get caught.
RJA: Haha! Anyways, I see some curious people here and lets ask them some questions. If you are listening to this show, come down to Mall Village and be part of it and win prizes from our sbonsor including air tickets.
RJA: Helu! Your name?
Bystander: Rasheeeed.
RJA: Rasheed, what do you do?
Bystander: I keep books.
RJA: Interesting, we have a librarian with us.
Bystander: Maafi librarian, I accountant.
RJA: Oh! Anyways, an accountant means you can answer this question for us- What is the currency of Israel?
Bystander: American dullar...
RJA: Thank you for your response. Lets move on to our next friend here. Hi! Your name?
Bystander: Ferdinand DeCosta Ma pang
RJA: You are from?
FDMP: Filling pints. Woking ere in MacoPrawns.
RJA: Oh!! Yum! While you sit there Bandar, I shall eat up here. Can I have a Delux Burger?
FDMP: Vit pries? U won to supersie meal? mum? vit prench pries? poteto chips? mum?
RJA: Umm.. that thing
FDMP: Yes mum. One meal- delux burgar, prench pries, jumba cooco cola . Thats pipty LSD. Tokway or here?
RJA: umm.. that ll be take away.
RJA: While I gorge on this delicious meal, over to you RJ Bandar.

We shall now have a word from our sbonsors. SheikhEatA Banana - 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana! Lots of bananas, yum!!!

Helu! How bitiful tat I am sitting here while she eats there. Viewers if you feel bad for me, SMS me at 342342 through Vodabone numbers, 12312 through Vain numbers, 4324 for Yetisloshed numbers. Ill be waiting for your smses. yo! yo! lets begin the countdown for the tob ten songs of the week...

DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of FICTION and nothing is based on real things, people etc yackety yak yak and thats not how GULF Radio channels sound like so don't sue us. If it does, its mere coincidence ;)

Flying with any Arab Airline....

Zis is your captain Abdullah al-ahmed al-ghamdi welcoming both seated and standing bassengers on board.

We abologize for z five hours delay in taking off. It was due to bad weazer and some overtime I had to stand in line at z bakery ordering Kaak.

Zis is flight 717 to Byerain Internasional Airbort from Al Sahib Al Samuh Malik Abdul Aziz and Custodian of the two holy mos-queues,Dschidda Airbort. Landing zer is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere near Manama.
Zis airline has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are high maintenance zat even terrorizts are afraid to fly wiz us!
It is wiz bleasure I announce zat, starting zis year, over 30% of our bassengers have reached zeir destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on bassenger request, we can arrange to turn zem off in order to make sure you are feeling comfortable!
We regret to inform you, zat today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from z television and censor it.
Zere is no smoking allowed in zis airblane. Any smoke you see in z cabin is only z early warning system on z engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as bossible for z best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-bilot sometimes flies right through z landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an ubright bosition for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For zose of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to z arm of your seat. And, For zose of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch wiz a stewardess who will exblain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
Sanking you all for choosing zis airline to fly for z for once in a lifetime experience.
I Wish you a nice trib.
Regards from ..
Captain Abdullah Al Ahmad Al Ghamdi