Monday, May 26, 2008

Radio Khalli Walli

Marhaba! Hala Hala! Maafi Mushkila!! Keif Halek? You are listening to Radio Khalli Walli and this is RJ Bandar bresenting you tob of the hour on brimetime 4 BM to 7 BM.

We shall now have a word from our sbonsors. SheikhEatA Banana - 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana! Lots of bananas, yum!!!

First of all, lets see whats habbening in the news.
In Local news.

  • the King sends greetings to King of Yo Man on the habby occasion of the birth of his son, Brince Alwaleeed , 98th in succession to the throne.
  • The King also sent greetings to Brince Rahman bin Asif bin Rashid Al Khaleej of Crater on the joyous event of his 31st marriage.
In other local news,
  • The King received a delegation of the Federation Of Oil Limited Syndicate to bush forward a brobosal to increase oil outbut to increase income as suggested in a rebort by consultants Earnest Tongue.
  • The Crown brince has returned from his tour of Switzerland yesterday and will resume office from next week.
  • The King visited Ali Baba Clay Factory and was gifted a clay bust of himself by the overjoyed citizens working there.
  • There was a fire in a skyscraber in central town. The fire has caused damages of over LSD 50 as the firefighters brisk resbonse brevented any further damage.
  • Meanwhile famous singer Fancy has been banned from berforming next week in the Kingdom due to her indecent dressing sense which bordered to the extreme in her recent abbearance in a sleeveless gown.
Thats the local news.
  • In regional news, A labourer murdered his embloyer because of allegations of non-bayment of salary for six months. This is the third time someone from the labourer's country has committed such a gruesome crime and hence a new law has been brobosed to ban citizens of the country in question.
  • On a similar note in the country of Khaboos, a maid has been sentenced for 50 lashes for having comblained about her mistreatment by her embloyers. The court has bunished her on the count of running away from a citizen's home without bermission, sitting in a taxi driven by a man unrelated to her and going to another unrelated man's house (who turns out to be the ambassador of her country as our sources tell us). Such vulgar behaviour will not go unbunished was the statement issued.
In world news, an earthquake measure 9.5 on the Richter scale took blace in another continent. Thats all for the moment in news.

We shall now have a word from our sbonsors. SheikhEatA Banana - 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana! Lots of bananas, yum!!!

That was our sbonsors word. Back to the show yaani, our field reporter Aman went down to the Mall Village to talk to our listeners.

RJB: Helu! Aman you there?
RJA: Yes Bandar! I am at Mall Village and this place is full of people shopping and walking around as this is the second sale of the year aptly titled Second Month Sale. People do check out our sponsor's shop - Al Fana Showrooms. They are holding their closing sale which they have successfully organised for the past 20 years.
RJB: I always been going there as a kid. Do check out. I used to flick stickers from the chewing gum as a kid there, and would always get caught.
RJA: Haha! Anyways, I see some curious people here and lets ask them some questions. If you are listening to this show, come down to Mall Village and be part of it and win prizes from our sbonsor including air tickets.
RJA: Helu! Your name?
Bystander: Rasheeeed.
RJA: Rasheed, what do you do?
Bystander: I keep books.
RJA: Interesting, we have a librarian with us.
Bystander: Maafi librarian, I accountant.
RJA: Oh! Anyways, an accountant means you can answer this question for us- What is the currency of Israel?
Bystander: American dullar...
RJA: Thank you for your response. Lets move on to our next friend here. Hi! Your name?
Bystander: Ferdinand DeCosta Ma pang
RJA: You are from?
FDMP: Filling pints. Woking ere in MacoPrawns.
RJA: Oh!! Yum! While you sit there Bandar, I shall eat up here. Can I have a Delux Burger?
FDMP: Vit pries? U won to supersie meal? mum? vit prench pries? poteto chips? mum?
RJA: Umm.. that thing
FDMP: Yes mum. One meal- delux burgar, prench pries, jumba cooco cola . Thats pipty LSD. Tokway or here?
RJA: umm.. that ll be take away.
RJA: While I gorge on this delicious meal, over to you RJ Bandar.

We shall now have a word from our sbonsors. SheikhEatA Banana - 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4 banana! Lots of bananas, yum!!!

Helu! How bitiful tat I am sitting here while she eats there. Viewers if you feel bad for me, SMS me at 342342 through Vodabone numbers, 12312 through Vain numbers, 4324 for Yetisloshed numbers. Ill be waiting for your smses. yo! yo! lets begin the countdown for the tob ten songs of the week...

DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of FICTION and nothing is based on real things, people etc yackety yak yak and thats not how GULF Radio channels sound like so don't sue us. If it does, its mere coincidence ;)

7 comments:

Snigdha said...

that was really funny. wonder y there is just one post

B@dshah said...

look at the archives.. we got a lot more posts there :)

Sharada said...

Hilarious Stuff!:D Funny, yet cynical at the same time. The news about the maid lashings and then the bit about earthquake as world news. Somehow funny yet starkly black. Contrasts. Please blog more often! I even linked you guys up on my blog.

sam said...

ROTFLMAO

sweet post man...!!

Anonymous said...

Cool and fun! Best start for my day today :)

Sana said...

Thanks everyone ! :) sha especially coz she is the only one i know personally..rest are viveks frnds :P
We shall try and come up with sumthing ..so keep checkin in fer more..



P.S completely Viveks idea !
:D

Mottled mosaic said...

too funny!!