Flying with any Arab Airline....

Zis is your captain Abdullah al-ahmed al-ghamdi welcoming both seated and standing bassengers on board.

We abologize for z five hours delay in taking off. It was due to bad weazer and some overtime I had to stand in line at z bakery ordering Kaak.

Zis is flight 717 to Byerain Internasional Airbort from Al Sahib Al Samuh Malik Abdul Aziz and Custodian of the two holy mos-queues,Dschidda Airbort. Landing zer is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere near Manama.
Zis airline has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are high maintenance zat even terrorizts are afraid to fly wiz us!
It is wiz bleasure I announce zat, starting zis year, over 30% of our bassengers have reached zeir destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on bassenger request, we can arrange to turn zem off in order to make sure you are feeling comfortable!
We regret to inform you, zat today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from z television and censor it.
Zere is no smoking allowed in zis airblane. Any smoke you see in z cabin is only z early warning system on z engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as bossible for z best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-bilot sometimes flies right through z landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an ubright bosition for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For zose of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to z arm of your seat. And, For zose of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch wiz a stewardess who will exblain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
Sanking you all for choosing zis airline to fly for z for once in a lifetime experience.
I Wish you a nice trib.
Regards from ..
Captain Abdullah Al Ahmad Al Ghamdi